


He thinks of what if

by madsmurf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Child Neglect, Gen, M/M, No Dialogue, Pre-Series, Sharing a Bed, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 05:32:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madsmurf/pseuds/madsmurf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if he just disappeared. What if he just didn't come back to his dad's rundown apartment where the walls peeled and the only window was cracked and could barely open unless you really shoved at it. What if, what if.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He thinks of what if

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt; Scott/Stiles, Reunions
> 
> Written for scootiemcbooty on tumblr

Scott hates, absolutely hates, divorce. He wishes, sometimes when everything is quiet and still, that divorce never existed. That no one could get divorced ever. He thinks, at those times, that a world like that is happy, free of difficulties. He knows though that that thought is selfish and really silly. He knows that if divorce didn't exist then his mom wouldn't be away and safe from his dad and if there was anything he wanted more was his mom safe from his dad. If she was safe then everything was okay even when he had those dark selfish thoughts. He thinks maybe he has those thoughts as it meant everyday he was away from his mom and with his dad he wasn't with Stiles. Stiles was his best friend in the world and if his mom was his world then Stiles was what kept him grounded. So he thinks he has those dark thoughts because he misses Stiles and he misses his mom and he just wants to go home, home where he didn't have to ration his inhaler or wonder if his dad was going to remember that he existed and growing boys needed food and some acknowledgement.

It's times like those where he thinks darker thoughts, how if he didn't exist his dad and his mom would be a lot happier. His dad wouldn't always have to worry about money or extra mouths to feed and his mom would be somewhere nice like L.A. where all the famous people lived because she was magical and she deserved to be somewhere magical so he thinks if he didn't exist then she would be there. During those darker times he thinks Stiles would be better off too, not having to worry about his silly asthmatic friend. He hates those darker times more than he hates divorce or being away from Stiles and his mom. At those times there is a small part of him that truly believes and he thinks of what if. What if he just disappeared. What if he just didn't come back to his dad's rundown apartment where the walls peeled and the only window was cracked and could barely open unless you really shoved at it. What if, what if. Sometimes he thinks he could really do it, that he could survive on his own and then he thinks of Stiles and he thinks if he did it he wouldn't be able to do it without Stiles; he then thinks he is being selfish and it is an endless cycle and he despises that. (A tiny part hates himself; why did he have to be so selfish and horrible).

He's thankful, so grateful when it is over. When he's back in Beacon Hills, away from his dad and away from that apartment. Away from those dark thoughts. Being back in Beacon Hills means he doesn't have time to think, to dwell and he is so grateful for that. So when he sees Stiles for the first time in _weeks_ he doesn't think, he doesn't give any thought to grow. He just throws himself at Stiles; his arms wrap around Stiles' shoulders and his legs wrap around Stiles' waist and he holds on tight. It is a miracle that they don't topple to the pavement, it is a close one, Stiles barely manages to hold his ground and they manage. Scott doesn't let go, not for what feels like an age. Part of him is deeply afraid that if he does let go, he'll wake up and be back with his dad. Away from Stiles and away from his mom. So he doesn't let go, not even when his mom hugs them both, not even when they're curled up in Stiles' bed, with the blankets barely covering them and their legs tangled together. He just holds on tight. Feeling calm for the first time in weeks, the vicious dark thoughts far from his mind, and finally he's safe.


End file.
